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Band 5.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
Working is an important aspect of life. We must
work
 to earn money to buy the necessities. Working while studying is a controversial topic. In these days, there are a lot of students who
work
 while studying. The trend of working part-time is becoming increasingly popular among students. Some people say
student
 should f
ocused
Suggestion
focus
on their school topics, but some say
student
 can
work
 while they are studying. I believe
this
 subject is related to their families. It is apparent that most of the students who
work
 have many financial expenses to meet. One common expense is the high cost of
education
. C
ollage
Suggestion
College
and university students have many financial expenses and some families cannot fully afford the higher
education
 for their children.
Consequently
, these students have to
work
 to pay university and college fees and
also
 they have to pay for their living, food and other costs.
Also
, the problem of working during study is common in high school
student
. Some of the high school students are international and some of them are not. In
this
 case, there may have different excuses for international students who may not have their families s
upports
Suggestion
supported
fully regarding their expenses while in a
nother hand for
Suggestion
the other hand, for
the other hand for
other hand for
other hands for
native students there is no excuse because of the government’s financial support. I can suggest one possible solution to
this
 problem. The government could make higher
education
 free which can help to
student
 a lot.
This
 solution can give more free time to
student
 who need money for their
education
. In conclusion, working during study i
s relate
Suggestion
is related
relates
to each family’s situation. I believe, working is not necessary for students who can have their parent’s support. But for students who need make money I suggest don’t forget their goals because we should make our future w
ith
Suggestion
by
studying.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
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