When governments are able to ensure that everybody living in a city has the same wealth and opportunities, will this situation be remedied.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the
problem
of
obesity
is rapidly increasing at an alarming rate in many countries.
However
,
although
I agree that to resolve
this
problem
is to aware people about healthy
diet
one of the good
way
, I don’t believe that it is the best. On the one hand, educating individuals about lowering their calories is an excellent concept to reduce
this
issue,
this
is because they are known how much food they should take and how
much
Suggestion
many
calories they have to burn. It is a common view most of the people have no idea about
noxious side
Suggestion
the noxious side
of over eating.
Thus
, they take food as much as they can,
as a result
, they are getting fat day-by-day, and suffered several diseases
such
as, high blood pressure, heart attack, diabetes and certain cancer. Creating awareness,
therefore
, is a superior
way
to learn people how important healthy
diet
chart in our daily life. Pakistani famous singer Adnan Sami,
for example
, lost 40 kg and overcome
obesity
by following a calorie chart provides by his dietician.
However
, despite the fact that to acknowledge people about
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy diet
diet
is a good
way
, I still believe
exercise
is a much better solution to reduce
fatness
Suggestion
the fatness problem
problem
. The main drawback of educating people about
obesity
is that a limited
individuals
Suggestion
individual
try
Suggestion
tries
to follow balance
diet
or don not take it
seriously but
Accept comma addition
seriously, but
if they are used to doing regular
exercise
, it would be burned extra calorie from
body
Suggestion
the body
rapidly.
Although
for doing
exercise
need to find out leisure time, to keep fit and healthy body it is the best
way
.
Moreover
,
exercise
can encourage and motivate
individuals mind
Suggestion
the individual's mind
individual's mind
individual mind
, which is another element lacking from educating people about
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy diet
healthy diets
diet
. In short, while I agree that to educate people about healthy
diet
can be a very effective
way
to tackle the
problem
of
obesity
. I still believe that
exercise
is
much better
Suggestion
a much better way
way
to solve
this
issue.
Submitted by masudranajitu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: