IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

#people #nationalities #background #country
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Having a multi ethnic community in a
country
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 is considered as a key factor which affects the success of a
country
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.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement as there are plenty of examples in the world where the existence of multi-cultural people has become a hindrance towards the prosperity of a
country
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.
Firstly
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, due to the political and religious influences, people of different races tend to be separate from each other and fight for their rights and these arguments may lead the countries into civil wars.
For example
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, Sri Lanka faced a dreadful war for more than thirty years with a Tamil terrorist group. The terrorist group demanded a separate land from Sri Lanka to form a separate
country
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 for Tamil people.
Although
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, Sri Lanka used to be the most developed
country
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 in South Asia in 1970s, the
country
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 ended up being an
under developed
relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply
underdeveloped
country
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as a result
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 of the war.
Additionally
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, the separation of Pakistan from India due to the disagreement between Hindu and Muslim people
also
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 can be considered as a significant instance where India was the most powerful
country
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 in Asia.
Secondly
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, even though, the relationships between countries may have better impacts towards the development of countries, there is no notable contribution
from
Suggestion
of
 the people of
country
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 as separate cultural groups.
Ethnical
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 differences promote the culture of a
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country but
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country, but
 do not support the commercial development of a
country
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. In conclusion, I believe that a
country
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 will be prosperous only if the citizens work together as one nation despite their cultural, religious differences.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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