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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #career #time #friends
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It is irrefutable that having a flourishing
career
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 is
one
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 of the most important
achoevements
the action of accomplishing something
achievements
achievement
 any
person
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 could dream of.
Thus
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, it requires more of
one
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's daily
time
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 which minimizes the quality
time
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 that should be spent to the constants,
such
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 as family and friends which is paramount to every individual. Both views will be discussed below. A distinguished
career
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 is regarded as the most pivotal matter in a
person
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's
life
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, it is said to give a meaningful existence to anybody. After all the efforts exerted in pursuing studies, people expect to have a better outcome in
life
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 through having a stable
career
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. Because of
this
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, an employee tends to spend lesser
time
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 for leisure and social gatherings
since
Suggestion
for
 most of its
time
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 is splurged through working. Others even take double shifts or prefer to have more than
one
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 job for various reasons like
career
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 development and financial stability.
Although
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 it has its advantages for self growth, it
also
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 has its downsides like creating a
distance
Suggestion
distant
 relationship
to
Suggestion
with
 family and friends, most especially
occuring
come to pass
occurring
 health problems. Apart from achieving a successful
career
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, it is undeniably important to lend spare
time
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 with
people
Suggestion
the people
 behind the success. The family is the pillar upon which the society leans. Without unity, there wouldn't be enough motivation for a
person
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 to push through with
life
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.
However
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 hectic
one
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's daily
life
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 is, it is
also
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 necessary to make adequate
time
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 for family and friends because keeping in touch could enhance
one
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's relationship with the other. A quality
time
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 can
also
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 mean healing and unwinding, because after an exhausting day at work, it is inevitable to long for a
stressbuster
Suggestion
stress buster
.
Consequently
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, I believe that a successful
career
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 and being able to spend quality
time
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 with family and friends
are
Suggestion
is
 equally essential and could benefit to a
person
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's growth and well being.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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