IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is more important to invest in further education rather than to gain work experience after finishing university in order to find a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#education #gain #work #university #job
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As the numbers of university graduates continue to increase, it can seem that there is no alternative but to continue one’s studies in order to be more attractive in the
job
market
, rather than to seek to gain practical work experience. To see how valid
this
 argument is, we have to look at both sides of the debate.
First
 of all, let’s take a look at the
first
 traditional route for university graduates. The main reason why people undertake an undergraduate degree is to give them a competitive edge in the
job
market
, as gaining a degree is seen a guarantee of a certain level of mental ability. It is
then
 seen as necessary to combine
this
 intellectual training with practical, real world work experience in order to become a viable and strong contender in the
job
market
. The alternative
view
Accept comma addition
view, however
however
 argues that it is no longer enough merely to standard university degree and practical work experience. The sheer numbers of graduates entering the labour
market
 each year
means
Suggestion
mean
 that it is vital to gain an additional competitive edge when for the more sought after with selective. So where does the truth lie? On the one
hand there
Accept comma addition
hand, there
 is the time honoured view that has long been the conventional and practical route to career success for young ambitious individuals.
On the other hand
, the view that the
job
market
 has never been more competitive and it is essential to aspire to much higher levels of competitive excellence.
With
Suggestion
To
 current lack of jobs available in the labour
market
 it seems inevitable that one has to gain additional qualifications which will prove to a potential employer that one is the right candidate for that very
job
.
Submitted by abdulmaguidhussein on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: