IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries,financial crime involving identity theft is increasing .What are the causes of these trend and what effects does it identity thefts have on the victims involved.

#countries #crime #identity #theft #trend #effects #thefts #victims
Financial crime which includes identity
theft
 is at an increase rate in countries widely.
This
 essay will
duscuss
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
discusses
 the possible causes of
this
 trend and its negative impacts on the victims. The foremost cause of
this
 trend is
advancement
Suggestion
the advancement
 of technology and loose
security
system
.Along with recent
advancement
Suggestion
advances
 in
informations
a message received and understood
information
 and technology
,
Accept space
,
this
 has given birth to bigger intellectuals and hackers around the globe.These kind of highly intellectual people
often tend
Suggestion
often tends
 to hack
even the tight
Suggestion
even tighter security systems
even tighter security system
even the tightest security system
security
system
 and commit financial crimes by hacking other people's privacy and getting
accessed
Suggestion
access
 to their
fnacial
involving financial matters
financial
facial
 boundaries.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
loose
Suggestion
the loose security system
security
system
 in underdeveloped countries
also cause
Suggestion
also causes
has also caused
 major identity
theft
.Criminals from
developed
Suggestion
developing
 nations can easily invade to countries where they cannot afford higher
security
 systems
as a result
 people living in these countries becomes victimised.
For example
,
Accept space
,
there are different news of cyber crimes where criminals steal
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of money from banks and different organisations. The possible effects which
is caused
Suggestion
are caused
 by
these reason
Suggestion
this reason
these reasons
 are
financil
involving financial matters
financial
financially
 loss and lack of trust
on
Suggestion
of
government
. Identity
theft
 creates havoc among the peoples financial situations.The locals may face troubles in performing financial transactions and may get victimised
instead
 of the criminals while travelling overseas.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
there creates a tension between the
government
 and the people.It will become hard to trust
government
Suggestion
the government
 on financial issues as more of these crimes occur repeatedly.Different organisations and institutions where people
maage
be successful; achieve a goal
manage
 their financial statements will be in dilemma. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
financial crime which involves identity
theft
 is a bigger problem these
days which
Accept comma addition
days, which
 mainly occurs due to
recent advancement
Suggestion
recent advancements
the recent advancement
 in technology and loose
security
system
 which results in financial loss and lack of trust between people and
government
.
Submitted by sovikarai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cybersecurity
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Credit monitoring
  • Personal information
  • Cybercriminals
  • Online transactions
  • Data breach
  • Financial exploitation
  • Psychological distress
  • Credit history
  • Restoring identity
  • Unauthorized transactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: