Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions

There is no doubt that educational institutions play an important role in constructing their student’s career. While some believe that preparing their pupils should solely be

focus

Suggestion

the focus

of these institutions, I would argue that there are other ways universities can help students grow.

Firstly

, it is important for our educational curriculums

to have

Suggestion

have

subjects that exclusively focus on practical skills that the current job market requires.

This

is because most students hope that

after graduating they

Suggestion

after graduating, they

will be able to find jobs in their respective field.

Moreover

, many companies require their newly hired graduates to have

basic understanding

Suggestion

a basic understanding

practical aspects

Suggestion

the practical aspects

of their work, which the universities can teach while their students are still enrolled with them.

Thus

, some argue that preparing students for jobs should be the only goal of

such

institutions.

However

, I believe that there are other vital purposes that universities can provide

such

as preparing students for volunteering.

This

is because today there are many NGOs which always appreciate a bit of help with their magnanimous tasks in helping humanity around the world. These institutions cannot afford to pay high wages, so it is crucial that people choose to devote their time helping

such

organizations. A

second

purpose is raising good citizens. The reason for

this

is that societies need active and vibrant

communities who

Accept comma addition

communities, who

can participate in improving the world for their members and its future generations. Both of these purposes can be fulfilled by educating children while they are still at school so that by the time they reach adulthood, they will be better able to help their societies. In conclusion,

although

it is important to teach practical

skills helping

Accept comma addition

skills, helping

find jobs, I feel that educating students about volunteering and awareness if far more crucial to help communities grow.

Submitted by sundram.1348 on Tue Feb 11 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some children find some subjects such as Maths and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree? agree = concentrate in interesting, creative disagree = general knowledge, find interesting
An argument has arisen between two views, the first one believes that complex subjects should be optional, while the second view says that they should remain required. In this report, I will go through both views and then allow me to conclude my point of view.
4.5
band
You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late.
I hope you are well. I am writing this letter to inform you regarding my rent payment. I apologise for causing you any inconvenience. Please allow me to explain my situation. Recently, there have been some financial issues related to my family. My brother was planning to buy a property in my hometown. The real estate asked him to provide proof of balance from the bank next week. But he did not have enough money to make up the statement. My brother asked for my help just last week. However, I have transferred my partial amount of the rental to him immediately. Furthermore, I would like to request an extension for another 2 weeks to pay my rent. I have signed the lease with youfor 2years and will still be continuing. I will be receiving my salary after next week and I hope you can understand under those circumstances.
<4
band
Nowadays young adults seem to prefer to spend their leisure shopping. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the younger generation spends more time shopping than anything else. That's because they see it as a self-reward for what they've done before.
7
band
In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
In recent years, in some countries, people do not care about traditional festivals and celebrations, so it leads to the disappearance of these occasions. As a result, new generations will forget their culture, and another problem is that everyone will share the same celebrations, but this can be tackled by promoting these events and by providing a constant reminder of these celebrations.
<4
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.
The given diagram shows the comparison of accommodation buildings between 2010 and now. The given diagram will be summarised in the following essay.

Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late.

Nowadays young adults seem to prefer to spend their leisure shopping. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.