IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Medical professionals such as doctors and nurses from poor countries often migrate to richer countries to work. What problems arise from this situation? What measure can be taken to deal with it?

Over the years, a lot of people linked to the medical profession tend to leave their poverty-stricken native
countries
Use synonyms
 and move to wealthier places in order to get a better
job
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. There are several reasons associated with
this
Linking Words
 trend which
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 a variety of problems in their
countries
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are viable measures which can be implemented by the government to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people taking
such
Linking Words
 steps are insecure
due to
Linking Words
 the social and political conditions of their country.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that they are unsure if they will be able to find an appropriate
job
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 respectable salary to
justice
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justify
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 their hard work and profession.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the significant problem associated with
such
Linking Words
 a step
effects
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affects
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 nationwide. The country faces the loss of good doctors, which eventually worsens the whole medical system. It has been reported by the
department
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Department
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 of
health sciences
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Health Sciences
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 in South Asia that 80% of their medical graduates tend to work for Middle Eastern
countries
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due to
Linking Words
 the best career opportunities they offer.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 imposes a threat on their own medical departments. There are two effective solutions to the problem of migrating medical professionals. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 situation is for the government to ensure stability within the
job
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 sector.
In other words
Linking Words
, people should get jobs on the basis of merit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there should be enough career opportunities provided to them. Another method to deal with
this
Linking Words
 situation is to give them sufficient perks to stay back in their native home town. Keeping in mind the medical professionals and how challenging their
job
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 is, they should be offered good salaries equivalent to their worth,
like
Change preposition
as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
countries
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 do.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are problems associated with the trend of
migrating
Replace the word
migration
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, they can be solved by taking a
long term
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long-term
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 approach. Our government has a crucial part to play in restoring the talent within
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 country by securing
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 future through good jobs and handsome salaries.

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task response
Expand on why doctors leave with more detail and add simple proof or example.
coherence
Make the flow of ideas clear with small linking words and keep one idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and word use, and keep the words easy to read.
solutions
Add more plans that a country can follow, like more training, better work life, and money help.
content
The essay talks about both problems and ways to fix them.
structure
There is a plan with two main ideas to keep workers at home.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
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