*Many people are involved in sports when they are young but stop once they are adults*. *Why do many adults stop doing physical exercise?* *What can be done about this problem?

Majority
Suggestion
The majority
of the individuals used to participate in sports at a young
age but
Accept comma addition
age, but
stop after growing up,
this
is because on off days they consider spending
time
with family and friends as well as travelling.
However
, there are some ways which can be used to solve
this
problem
firstly
, encouraging employers to reinforce rules
such
as having inter
competition
sports between staff held
also
the government can construct various stadiums hosting different games at no cost. Even though gaming in adults can help prevent lifestyle diseases they prefer spending free
time
with friends and family along with travelling.
This
is because almost three quarters of a person's life is spent at work and the majority get
home
worn out. Some do not have
time
to check up on the family or friends while others have two or more jobs to sustain their life and family.
This
explains why most adults do not spend
time
on sports
.
Accept space
.
For instance
, I work as a nurse in a busy hospital for a twelve hour shift. I get
home
tired, I would consider relaxing at
home
while watching television with my family to play sports. Because of
this
I would choose to stay
home
with my family or plan a getaway trip with my friends rather than putting the energy into games.
However
, There are strategies which can be used to encourage adults to participate in sports
such
as employers
holding inter
Accept comma addition
holding, inter
competition
games between employees on a weekly basis and reward the winners with perks, Government can
also
build free sport areas in different regions for hosting different games. Because,
this
will motivate employees to join the
competition
Accept comma addition
competition, additionally
additionally
if
stadiums
Suggestion
the stadiums
are built in different areas where they are accessible by everyone it inspires people to be involved in games.
For example
, around the area that I come from there is a field where people run in the morning or evenings after work while others play football or
volleyball
Suggestion
volleyball, however
however
it is accessible at a cost.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
construction of stadiums and employers setting some rules will help solve the problem. In Conclusion, adults spend off days with people close to them and travelling rather than setting aside some
time
for sports
is
Suggestion
are
a major
problem
Accept comma addition
problem, however
however
different institutions can come up with
competition
Suggestion
a competition
between employees and have a winning price for the winners will encourage many individuals to participate, building many free sport centres in
different area
Suggestion
different areas
by government is of importance too.
Submitted by briannamalik06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: