IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #cell #phones #children
Nowadays children are getting more inclined towards the phones. Parents feel the excessive use of phones could harmful for them. Despite phones have made our lives better but still have its side effects as well. Children have started spending time on the phones which as has started affecting their mental and physical growth. Some parents have raised concern regarding the excessive use of phones by their children. Children have become more physically unfit, since they spend so many on cell phones playing games, watching movies, clicking photos and other social media sites.
For example
, if a child continues playing games on the phone do not gout play any sport. At some point the child will start gaining weight. If some parents think its harmful, but some
on the other hand
, believe it’s a very useful device. Cell phones can be considered a safety device, since parents can easily reach out to their children. Nowadays crime rate has increased in all over the world.
For example
, if a child goes out to a party and will be late while coming. In
such
 situation they can easily call their parents and inform them. In conclusion, I would like to say that cell phones definitely a very useful resource, but at the same it has own disadvantages as well.
However
, parents need to keep a check, how long the children are busy on these devices. Children should be allowed to use their cell phones only for a short period of time like while they are in school or when go out alone with their friends.
This
 is kind of practice will give them time for other outdoor activities.
Submitted by shreya1990s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: