IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#internet #people #computers #smartphones #world #trend
It is quite common these days for
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 which has provided
information
 easily and immediately to humans through electric devices
such
 as computers and smartphones in over the world.
This
knowledge
 was made for no
profits
Fix the agreement mistake
profit
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 trend.
This
 trend would create certain benefits but there will
also
 be some drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several reasons why free
knowledge
 on the
internet
 for
people
 may be beneficial. A common reason is that users can economize their money and time.
Knowledge
 is the means that the
people
 can not learn it simply. It is required to experience through the human’s life. How to reach
information
 when
people
 are young.
Hence
, it is strongly convenient and simple to get
information
 by using the
internet
. Another positive reason is users will find the
knowledge
 immediately and clearly.
Instead
 of reading books,
people
 only need to have smartphones and computers and click some buttons on the display. One of the disadvantages that
people
 usually see is the speed of updating the
information
.
However
, the
internet
 can provide
knowledge
 quickly and constantly in a short moment. After the researchers have found some things, humans can search
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
 on the
internet
.
On the other hand
, there are a number of disadvantages of
internet
knowledge
 through computers and smartphones that
people
 should take into consideration. One obvious drawback is that humans can take it steadily, so they can not consider books. The easier they get, the lazier they are. Another negative effect is that the access of users that the human try to connect to the websites can be overloaded. Because the
information
 is free, everyone will not ignore
this
 chance to get some things they want. In conclusion, the costless
knowledge
 on the
internet
 could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay introduction is vague and needs a clearer paraphrase of the question. Aim to directly address both sides of the question's premise within the opening paragraph and ensure that it succinctly summarizes the main idea of the essay.
Task Achievement
When discussing ideas, those ideas need to be well-developed and focused. Include specific examples and ensure that each point directly builds upon the topic. Avoid making unsubstantiated statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical flow. Use a variety of cohesive devices to help achieve a smooth progression of ideas. Avoid repetition of linking words and strive for complex structures for higher marks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid overly general statements and make sure that each paragraph expands on the main idea with clear support and explanation. Try to use more complex sentence structures and vocabulary to convey precise meanings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: