IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Being happy brings joy to
life
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. Many people believe that being wealthy means that it provides
happiness
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 for sure, but in the real
world it
Accept comma addition
world, it
 is not always guaranteed as the
happiness
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 of a
person
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 depends on many factors. I agree that a rich
person
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 can enjoy his
life
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 by opting for luxury things in his
life
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.
However
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, it may not
definitely
Suggestion
definitively
 bring
happiness
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 to
life
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 if he has a poor health condition. On the one hand, If an individual has a lot of
money
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 they can buy the things they want and find satisfaction in it. Nowadays, there are many goods available that bring satisfaction to individuals while using them. Many people feel pleasure in buying the things that excite them and feel happy when they have enough
money
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 to buy the commodity.
For instance
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, people who are working in the Information technology field are feeling happy because they earn more salary and they can be able to get anything that they need easily.
On the other hand
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, Being healthy brings
happiness
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 and feel content in the
life
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. If a
person
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 is healthy and has enough
money
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 to survive his
life
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 can guarantee
happiness
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 than a
person
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 who has a lot of wealth but has a poor health condition. Even though the
person
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 has more
money
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, but he cannot enjoy even a single meal or he can be happy if he is suffering from several diseases.
For example
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, Many wealthy people these days are obese and has high sugar levels are always nervous that they might get coronary heart disease. In conclusion, I agree that having
money
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 sufficiently can bring
happiness
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 as it provides the pleasure of buying things, but
happiness
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 is not guaranteed on wealth as it will depend on other factors as well
such
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 as having good health conditions.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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