IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe that they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say that they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society
It is argued that renowned movies and games containing violence put an adverse impact, so, persons demand a ban. And, I totally agree.
However
, others believe that they are non-problematic and assist to perplex.
Therefore
, I am going to portray about it in detail in the succeeding paragraphs. On the one hand, it is apparent that miscellaneous games as well as pictures have violent material in them. So today,
masses
Suggestion
the masses
 have to face several hurdles because of them. To illustrate, I would like to cite that, as we know that PUBG game is quite prominent worldwide among all age group's folks. But, a recent study found that by playing
this
 game many cases like suicide, murder, mental illness have popped out in diverse nations. Apart from
this
, some mental hospitals are
also
 being opened, too.
Thus
,
such
 games and movies must be banned.
Also
, on the flip side, many individuals claim that these movies and games are not detrimental. For the reason that, as a matter of fact, those human beings who
acquires
Suggestion
acquire
 self control and play
such
 games and watch films, believe that these things do not have negative effects. So, they just feel tranquil by playing and seeing them. Because, these things are generally preferred as leisure activities.
Hence
, it may be possible that people may not have much time to spend on them.
That is
 why, they consider it as non-
hazardious
involving risk or danger
hazardous
. In conclusion, as I have mentioned earlier that violent movies and games must be banned because it increases crime and health issues, but there are a positive impacts of it as well,
nevertheless
 every rose
have
Suggestion
has
 thorns.
Submitted by kaurdamanpreet651 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: