IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Biotechnology corporations greatly improve the standard of living by developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genetically modified
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
 (
GMO
Fix the agreement mistake
GMOs
show examples
). Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
this
Linking Words
 initiative has unproven risks involved in public
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment.
However
Linking Words
, despite
this
Linking Words
 side impact, I believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 ultimate method can bring some benefits, which leads to the fact that it should not be halted. It is undeniable to say that genetically modified crops pose a threat to minor aspects of
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 foods that are genetically engineered by scientists increase the nutritional quality, some
people
Use synonyms
 may suffer from allergic reactions
as well as
Linking Words
 other side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 which have not been examined as a
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 kind of method. Another aspect worth mentioning is that GMO has a detrimental effect on the soil.
This
Linking Words
 means that
this
Linking Words
 approach certainly requires more
nutrients
Use synonyms
 and vitamins compared to
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 breeding method, which results in the fact that the soil is drained and gradually becomes barren.
As a result
Linking Words
,
GMO
Fix the agreement mistake
GMOs
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 absorbed all the
nutrients
Use synonyms
 from the earth.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I would argue that genetically modified
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
 would have a positive effect on the general
health
Use synonyms
 of the public and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is a dramatic
in
Check wording
increase in
show examples
 the amounts of
nutrients
Use synonyms
, which means that
people
Use synonyms
enable
Use the right word
are able
show examples
 to obtain more valuable and rich sustances of
nutrients
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
people
Use synonyms
 might sustain satiation, and put a halt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world hunger.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, environmental factors as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change are no longer a grave preoccupation of human beings.
In other words
Linking Words
, GMOs allow
people
Use synonyms
enjoy
Verb problem
to enjoy
show examples
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
 healthy diet all year round by
foods
Verb problem
making foods
show examples
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
available during unconventional growing seasons. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 I understand that some
people
Use synonyms
 are afraid of the consequences of man-made food since the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 of
such
Linking Words
 a product are known.
However
Linking Words
, the apparent advantages that genetically modified organisms bring to our
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment are
completely
Rephrase
not completely
show examples
 precise.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should not be recommended to be prohibited

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
Fix word use and make clear points. Use simple and correct words.
task response
State your view at once and say how far you agree. Write a short intro that shows your main plan.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like first, next, also, but, therefore.
content
Give one clear example for each point. Keep facts that you know are true.
structure
Clear stance and attempt to discuss both sides.
content
Talks about health and soil, which shows a wide view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: