IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

many people believe that mobile phone cause more harms than benefits. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Onee
Suggestion
One
 of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that cell phones are more
harmfull
causing or capable of causing harm
harmful
 than their advantages. There is a widespread worry that
this
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 will only lead to a myriad of concerns in
one
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's life.
However
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, I do not entirely accept
this
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 and I will explain why in
this
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 essay. There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant
one
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 is that by using the mobile phone we keep in contact
to
Suggestion
with
 our beloved
one
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 who live in abroad, it
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also lead
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also leads
 to numerous other benefits in various fields.
Such
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 as, we get the cap service at our
door step
the sill of a door; a horizontal piece of wood or stone that forms the bottom of a doorway and offers support when passing through a doorway
doorstep
 by using
application
Suggestion
an application
 on mobile. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only can
one
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 benefit more when it comes to being effective, but can
also
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 enhance the productivity and quality of their lives with much ease, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand
one
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 in good stead, as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. Another pivotal aspect of the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help
one
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 thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
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, only when
one
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 follows
such
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 a system, can they broaden their horizons,
thus
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, learning
such
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 essential attributes as responsibility, dedication and perseverance.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many are in favour of smart phones. To put in a
nuteshell
the shell around the kernel of a nut
nutshell
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that it is indeed a debatable issue which needs a
further
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 analysis and
disucssion
an extended communication (often interactive) dealing with some particular topic
discussion
.
However
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, in the light of above discussed and
arguments it
Accept comma addition
arguments, it
 would be quite logical to conclude that the advantages of mobile phone overweigh of its disadvantages in various aspects.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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