In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a dramatic increase in the number of children who have got
obesity
Use synonyms
, especially in some developed countries, where a massive amount of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
is consumed daily. Many people suppose that the
government
Use synonyms
should do something to improve
this
Linking Words
issue. From my perspective, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
view and believe that the
government
Use synonyms
as the only one who is responsible for combating the childhood
obesity
Use synonyms
crisis. It is undeniable to say that the
government
Use synonyms
has a major role to ensure the well-being of children.
This
Linking Words
means that when it comes to health-threatening diseases, as childhood
obesity
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
should be the one to
first
Linking Words
realize
such
Linking Words
a threat, introduce and put solutions into practice. The
government
Use synonyms
should reduce the time of television advertisements for fast
food
Use synonyms
, which negatively affected children.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
would encourage
food
Use synonyms
companies to declare all additives in ingredient descriptions, which helps consumers know clearly about what
food
Use synonyms
they consume consists.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I would argue that parents have more duty to combat
obesity
Use synonyms
in children. The
first
Linking Words
reason to be given is that an obese child could not receive all nutrients in their diet, especially the
fiber
a slender and greatly elongated substance capable of being spun into yarn
fibre
from vegetables and fruit. The hectic schedule prevents parents from time for homemade
food
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, children tend to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
for a meal on a regular basis. In
this
Linking Words
way, their nutritional balances could be gravely affected;
hence
Linking Words
, parents have a direct impact on improving their children’s health by choosing and maintaining healthy eating habit which reduces sugar and fat.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lack of physical activity is a top reason to make children gain weight unhealthily. Nowadays, most youngsters are in favour of the sedentary lifestyle and detest doing physical exercises.
This
Linking Words
means that the amount of calories from the
food
Use synonyms
they consume is much higher than the ones they generate, which causes
obesity
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
situation, parents are the only ones who can encourage or even force their children to do more exercise to protect their bodies from some illnesses. In conclusion, while some people suppose that the
government
Use synonyms
should take responsibility to curb the
obesity
Use synonyms
epidemic, I strongly believe that parents have a greater effect on improving their children’s health mainly because they can observe their kids directly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: