IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many museums and historical sites are visited by tourist people and not by local people. Why is this case? What should be done to attract local people to this museums and historical sites.

#museums #sites #tourist #people #case
Historical sites and museums reflects the ancient times.
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 outsiders are more interested in visiting
such
 sites than local people. There can be many reasons. According to my opinion, community people should
visit
such
 places, but due to negligence and lack of importance of
this
 ancient
places
Suggestion
place
 they avoid visiting
such
 places. In the following paragraph, I intend to discuss the main reason about it.
Firstly
, indigenous people are already aware about places of history and the things presented in the museums. Due to
this
 importance regarding
such
 places decreases and they neglect the need to
visit
 the buildings.
Moreover
, everyone is more interested in exploring the other cultures rather than knowing their own traditional culture. So the tourist from the different countries are
more keen
Suggestion
keener
 to know about
foundation
Suggestion
the foundation
 of
this places
Suggestion
this place
these places
 and local people travel to their countries. To overcome
such
 issues,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should play an ideal role to upgrade the true culture and precious art and architecture of their own country, which will encourage global as well as national people. To add to it, they should organize events and exhibitions which will attract the people to
visit
 and spread the significance about it.
For example
, during Republic day lighting shows, different styles of dance programs and many more are organized by
government
Suggestion
the government
 near India Gate to influence people and showing tribute to the soldiers and telling people about the
sacrifies
endure the loss of
sacrifices
sacrifice
 they have made for them. To conclude, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that it becomes
moral duty
Suggestion
a moral duty
 of the local people and government to
visit
 their own traditional places as well as influence the others to do the same and to equally maintain
such
 places.
Submitted by valadevanshi3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: