Many people believe that social networking sites (such as fb) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #fb #impact #individuals #society

It is an undeniable fact that social media has changed our

society

immensely. It is often thought by many people that it has spoiled many individuals and have had a detrimental effect on

society

. I totally agree with

this

viewpoint and following are some of the reasons why I believe so.

Firstly

, I believe that the excessive use of social networking sites wastes one’s precious

time

. People these days, especially, the younger generation,

prefer

Suggestion

prefers

using social media and they do not realize how it robs them of their valuable

time

For example

, youngsters spend hours and hours on Facebook watching videos and images most of which are not useful.

Furthermore

, they get involved with people whom they do not even know and prefer spending

time

chatting with them, the

time

which they should be utilizing on study and career.

Secondly

, the effect that social

media especially

Accept comma addition

media, especially

Facebook has had on a

society

also

detrimental. Before the development of technology people used to sit together and value their families and friends by having face to face contact with them.

However

, most of the people nowadays prefer communicating through social media, which unfortunately cannot

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

the true essence of family meet ups and friends get together. While

this

has not only led to disharmony in the

society but

Accept comma addition

society, but

has

also

increased the feeling of loneliness among people. To conclude, despite a tremendous development in the social networking sites, they have had an overall negative effect on both the individuals and

society

. They have deprived people of the idea of true relationship and have left our youngsters on the verge of failure.

Submitted by dr.rabeeashah on Fri Feb 14 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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