Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job.On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Disscuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills #disscuss

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Some argue that it is crucial to finish tertiary education level in order to get employed,

while

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others believe that gaining experience and ameliorating personal skills are more vital.

Although

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the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I am convinced that education plays a more significant role in assisting individuals to secure any profession.

To begin

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with, many juveniles opted for part-time jobs

instead

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of pursuing their desired courses at universities these days. To substantiate

this

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claim, a statistic highlights that 62% of food and beverage (F&B) workers are in the range of 17-19 years old.

This

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would inculcate a sense of independence in themselves,

thus

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lightening their parents' burdens with the remuneration they received.

Furthermore

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, they could gain substantial capabilities (communication, teamwork, and critical thinking) that would be advantageous for them in the future.

However

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, I contend that furthering studies is more important for personal growth as someone could gain valuable insights and foster their cognitive development. Universities often offer students to join various competitions and conferences that are able to recognise talents and potential in learners.

This

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could have positive impacts on them since taking part in social events or contests can escalate their social skills and competitiveness.

For example

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, students who participated in international research conferences acquired exposure that could improve their research skills. In conclusion, I support the view that everyone, especially youngsters should prioritise their education. Even though obtaining experiences by working provides numerous perks, I believe that gaining knowledge through studying offers better wisdom.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Sun Jul 21 2024

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coherence

To enhance coherence, link paragraphs more smoothly by using transition words and phrases. Ensure each paragraph flows logically from the last.

task achievement

Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples and elaborating on key points. This will add depth to your essay and make your arguments more convincing.

task response

You have effectively presented both perspectives on the topic and provided a clear opinion in the conclusion. This shows a good understanding of the task.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion are both present and appropriately summarize the main points of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job.On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Disscuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays, more and more people to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?