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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors
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People have differing views about how to achieve
happiness
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 in
life
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. While some people believe that it depends on themselves, others consider external factors for being happy. I think that both intrinsic and extrinsic factors
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to
feeling
Suggestion
a feeling
the feeling
feelings
 of
happinessy
state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy
happiness
. On the one hand,
Ffor
appropriate to; intended for
for
far
 many people, the sense of
happiness
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 is derived from their attitude on
life
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. They believe that having a positive outlook can relieve the pains
ofcauses
Suggestion
of causes
 that they enjoy living in the hectic lifestyle. When individuals get pleasure from plenty of
thing
Suggestion
things
such
Linking Words
 as playing, laughing, spending time with family and friends and so on, they can feel an inner satisfaction which is a kind of
happiness
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. So,
happiness
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 depends on our intrinsic conditions. If one is not content with her or his current circumstances, they do not have to bear them and can change or improve them to be happy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other extrinsic factors make people feel happy which some basic preconditions to achieving
happiness
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are
Suggestion
is
. It is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place for living, enough food to eat and even a good income; these basic survival needs must be met before individuals can lead a pleasant
life
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. There are many disadvantaged people,
for example
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, suffer from a disease and cannot afford cure costs just because of not having enough money, so they do not feel happy. In conclusion, I believe that,
however
Linking Words
, our thinking way is a primitive factor for being happy, I admit that other external factors are overshadowed our
happiness
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 in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ha.khalifipour on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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