Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There has been a constant debate about whether
people
should work for the same organization
throughout their careers or change employers regularly. Some argue that staying with one organization
for life is beneficial, while
others believe that moving between different companies offers more advantages. In this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and provide my opinion.
On the one hand, I strongly believe that it is better for people
to work for the same organization
throughout their lives. Firstly
, it reduces the risk of unemployment. When employees remain with the same company, they often have a stable position and better chances of promotion, which translates to job security. A study in the United States found that individuals
who spent their entire careers with one employer reported more stable working conditions. This
stability leads to a lower unemployment rate, which enhances the quality of life for both individuals
and society as a whole. Secondly
, long-term employment fosters better relationships. Employees who stay with the same organization
tend to build strong professional networks and personal connections, creating a positive and supportive work environment.
On the other hand
, working for different organizations can offer significant benefits. Firstly
, it helps people
enrich their skills. Experiencing various companies and roles exposes individuals
to different tasks and challenges, broadening their knowledge and expertise. Moreover
, changing employers frequently enhances people
's adaptability. According to
a study, individuals
who regularly transition between different workplaces develop higher levels of adaptability, allowing them to better handle new situations and challenges.
In conclusion, while
both viewpoints have their pros and cons, I believe that the advantages of working for the same organization
outweigh those of frequently changing employers. A stable job and financial security can significantly enhance an individual's quality of life.Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on
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task achievement
While the essay argues well, there are a few areas where it could be improved. In terms of task achievement, consider adding more relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as individual success stories. Additionally, make sure each body paragraph equally addresses the opposing view to maintain a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. This will make your essay easier to read and follow. Aim for smoother transitions for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which framed your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You comprehensively addressed the task and provided relevant points for both viewpoints.
task achievement
Your ideas were presented clearly, making your argument convincing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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