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At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
It is well known that developing countries have
large
Suggestion
a large population
large populations
population
 of young adults and developed countries do not,
instead
 old people is greater
on
Suggestion
in
 developed countries.
This
 represents challenges to the governments and the economic system
such
 as healthcare, welfare programs and long term objectives. Young adults are one of the cornerstones of the economic growth, the availability to have
workforce
Suggestion
a workforce
 to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the industry needs is very important, big firms may open new business units due to the fact that the employee offer is diverse and numerous and allowing low wages to be paid for the same work than in a developed country where older people may ask for much higher wages. Another factor is that young employed adults finance the retirement plans to
the oldest
Suggestion
the older
population bringing
Accept comma addition
population, bringing
 certain confidence on the welfare system. In turn the disadvantages in the long term is that young people migrate to a developed country because they can be paid much better than in the home country,
this
 situation could
led
Suggestion
lead
 to
a
Suggestion
an
 escaping brains scheme and the economy will not grow with employment of quality.
In
addition governments
Accept comma addition
addition, governments
 need to spend on educational programs, engage the young into the learning system representing a risk if they fail to accomplish the purpose in case equal opportunities are not covering most of
the young
Suggestion
the younger
population
 and as
result
Suggestion
a result
 they end involved in illegal activities. The advantages of having a big young
population
 are great and
prosperous
Accept comma addition
prosperous, however
however
 the governments should plan carefully to retain talented people and provide them with supportive schemes allowing everyone to have the opportunity to grow personally and professionally.
Submitted by fandres8 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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