IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#countries #children #work #people
Child labour has significantly increased in developing countries over the
last
 few years. Due to high inflation more people are susceptible to send their children in paid activities. Some people argue that
children
Suggestion
child's
children's
 involvement in
work
 could lead to severe problems. Others state that paid world could help enormously in developing skills, confidence and other
essentials
Suggestion
essential
 traits of professional lives. I believe that
children
Suggestion
children's
 involvement in
work
have
Suggestion
has
 dire consequences. It is often seen that children are more opted towards bad activities, those
start
Suggestion
starts
 working in their childhood. They have to
interact various
Suggestion
interact in various
 types of peoples in order to perform their daily job. These people can take advantage of their innocence by involving them in suspicious activities. Children have been rewarded against that,
this
 increases their hunger for money and
thus
 they become criminals.
However
 paid
work
 plays
pivotal role
Suggestion
a pivotal role
 in improving living conditions of
peoples
Suggestion
the peoples
. Children start doing
work
 in order to support their families financially. In recent years, life has become very difficult due to inflation.
That is
 why majority of poor people indulge their children in paid
work
.
Furthermore
, it could help immensely in their future. Learning skills open new horizon of opportunities.
In addition
 to
this
, individuals learn other essential skills
such
 as
team
cooperative work done by a team (especially when it is effective)
teamwork
work
, handling pressure situation and leadership. These skills could be beneficial for their future job. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages if paid
work
 overweigh its advantages. Government should take necessary measures to eradicate
this
 sin from society; youth
are
Suggestion
is
 the future of any country and should not be deprived with their basic rights.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: