Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
People today tend to have alternative prescriptions to deal with various health issues
instead
of going to a hospital or undergoing an examination by experts. I advocate Linking Words
this
as a negative alteration that can lead to the malpractice of medicines and treatments.
Linking Words
To begin
with medicines, state-of-the-art technology has brought numerous drugs ranging from herbals to artificials. Linking Words
However
, not all have been proven safe in curing patients, as there is no adequate trial of how they work. If societies consume Linking Words
this
sort of medicine solely based on advertisements, adverse problems could stem from these unproven drugs, Linking Words
for instance
, organ damage.
Linking Words
Additionally
, Linking Words
besides
the drugs, malpractice could Linking Words
also
be witnessed in a treatment aspect, precipitating more serious issues Linking Words
such
as death. When unprofessional individuals take action to lessen the symptoms of the disease, the outcome could be worse. In my experience, I once went to a traditional clinic to cure my stomachache through acupuncture. After three days, my stomach was still not getting better, followed by my whole body feeling weaker. Based on that fact, preferring to go to doctors Linking Words
instead
of unqualified examiners is the best way to conquer health problems.
In conclusion, amid the dichotomy of whether visiting a doctor to get proper medicine and treatment is a good choice or not, I assert that Linking Words
this
is a negative change, as acquiring a valid diagnosis from the experts is necessary for health matters. Linking Words
Although
the cost of doctors is high, it is worth it, as societies could recover their bodies well.Linking Words
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Coherence and Cohesion
A more structured approach to paragraphing and logical sequencing will improve coherence. Aim for clear topic sentences that lead the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the essay, the main points are somewhat supported, but expansion on those points could be improved to strengthen the argument. Try to delve deeper with your examples to fully illustrate your ideas.
Task Response
The response to the task is adequate, as both sides of the argument are considered, but the development of the argument could be more balanced. The essay could benefit significantly from a clearer introduction of contrasting arguments, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
Task Response
There is evidence of clear, comprehensible ideas, but the essay occasionally lacks a comprehensive explanation of these ideas. Development of ideas is often superficial, and further elaboration is needed.
Task Response
The use of examples is relevant to the topic, but they could be more specific and varied to enhance the argumentative weight of the essay. More detailed and diverse examples could be employed to demonstrate the point more convincingly.