IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?

#families #parents #children #time #reason
Presently, most of the parent's are willing to work in a reputed company.
Besides
, they may earn a plenty of money, but they were not able to spend sufficient amount of time with children. In
this
 essay, I will debate on the reasons for taking
such
 a decision and problems caused by that decision and suggest my opinion. Interestingly, most of the parent's were interested in doing a job because their dream was to fulfil their children's need.
Moreover
, they had to work for an extra-hour in a multi-national company, even though it does not help them in establishing a special bond. If the public was willing to gift their children a luxurious gift, they were not taught anything in life. A research stated that 90% of students in the developed nations had addicted to purchase foreign brands, though their income was too low.
On the other hand
, people, who spend a lot of time in an office, do not know their family problems. Indeed, these people just act as an A.T.M machine between their children. Though the student does not know how to respect the elders, they just treat them as a machine.
For instance
, a student should know the value of a thing or relation unless they had experienced the importance of an item or a person. In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the public is interested to work in various companies because it helps them to purchase a multitude of things and fulfil their desire.
Therefore
, the children may not know the value of the items and relations in the society. I believe that a student should learn how to respect others
instead
 of calculating the price for each object.
Submitted by lokesh.kamatham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: