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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
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Travelling abroad is not
a
Suggestion
an
 easy task, it requires support from tourism department that enables us to travel other
conutries
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
 easily, which is probably the largest when compared to many other industries. It is believed to be creating
tesnion
(psychology) a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense
tension
 rather than positive development among citizens of different cultures and heritage.
This
Linking Words
 is
true but
Accept comma addition
true, but
, only
for
Suggestion
to
 a certain extent and I completely agree the fact that it is disturbing the states
economically
Suggestion
economy
 and
also
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 biologically by unknown attacks of viruses on
public
Suggestion
the public
.
To begin
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 with, while travelling to different states people carry host viruses in them and
such
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 microorganisms are unpredictable about their growth and spread, if
this
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 happens other citizens should suffer severe outbreaks as they do not have immunization against new diseases,
this
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 is the major factor affecting the international tourism.
For instance
Linking Words
,
recent out break
Suggestion
recent outbreaks
recent outbreak
a recent outbreak
the recent outbreak
 of Corona virus resulted in more than 1
lakh
Suggestion
 deaths among 25 different countries due to people from China migrated to all those states ever before that was residua in their bodies. Along with these, other major concern is about illegal drug smuggling and sneaking of terrorists is a threat who could possibly enter into new states with hidden identities. If
such
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 activities occur the states will face severe damage and degradation financially and should seek support from other countries.
For example
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, recently Pakistan attacked India by entering into state with private jets and hidden details. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 travelling to different parts of the globe would give various new
experiences it
Accept comma addition
experiences, it
also
Linking Words
 involves dangerous risks which is in turn applying peak pressure and tension among tourism industries and making countries vulnerable to unknown attacks.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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