Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

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There is an undeniable fact that entertainment has become a vital part of everyone’s life. Owing to

this

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, sports and film stars are among the highest earning people of the world. In my perspective, the wealth and fame these entertainers earn is worth with respect to their tremendous work.

However

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, I believe personnel working in defence and armed forces should

also

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be paid at

high

Suggestion

the higher

higher

pay.

To begin

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with, the

first

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and foremost reason to support my viewpoint is that these days movies and sports are the best sources of entertainment among all age groups. To elaborate, almost every individual spend their leisure time in watching a movie, sport or listening to music.

Consequently

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this

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leads to the growth of these industries and the entertainers associated

Suggestion

with

them.

Therefore

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, high earning of industries brings high income for the actors and players. Another crucial reason that entertainers are paid huge amounts of money is that they often bring moments of pride to

nation

Suggestion

the nation

with their work.

In other words

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, owing to their diligent work and enthusiasm, these stars earn fame not only in their native countries but

also

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represent their nation across the globe. Taking an example of an Indian singer AR

Rehman who

Accept comma addition

Rehman, who

won

first

Linking Words

ever Oscar for his nation.

Thus

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, these

stars

a message that tells the particulars of an act or occurrence or course of events; presented in writing or drama or cinema or as a radio or television program

stories

deserve wealth for their unmatched contribution. Despite these entertainers, there are various other fields which should be paid well. These include armed services

such

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as, police, army, natural disaster relief force, air and navy force. The reason for

this

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is that they risk their lives to safeguard the citizens.

Also

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, they

not only spend

Suggestion

aren't only spending

many days away from their

families but

Accept comma addition

families, but

also

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went through the hardships of living in extreme weather conditions

such

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Siachin

diligent and thorough in inquiry or investigation

searching

sea-urchin

glaciers to protect their country.

For instance

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, army personnel spends only one month off from his duty throughout a year.

Therefore

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, they

also

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deserve more appreciation and rewards. In conclusion, I agree that actors and sports stars should be paid high amounts of money due to their increasing

viewership

Suggestion

as an entertainer and contribution to the nation’s pride.

However

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, in my opinion, people working in defence and relief forces should

also

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be considered for the high value payment.

Sat Feb 15 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

366 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Revenue generation
Supply and demand
Influence on culture
Trendsetters
Income disparity
Essential workers
Critical role
Public health
Endorsements
Economies
Compensation
Significant contribution
Technological advancements
Global challenges

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?