IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and
work
Use synonyms
 activities. To what extent do the benefits of
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages? In today’s
world
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has become an integral part of people’s
life
Use synonyms
. There is no denying
on
Suggestion
of
in
to
 the fact that people are becoming increasingly dependent on
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
; there are two sides to
ever
(used of count nouns) each and all of the members of a group considered singly and without exception
every
 coin. Excessive dependence on
technology
Use synonyms
 leads to
unhealthy
Suggestion
unhealthy lifestyles
unhealthy lifestyle
an unhealthy lifestyle
the unhealthy lifestyle
life
Use synonyms
 style and isolation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why
advantages
Suggestion
the advantages
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 do in fact outweigh
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 disadvantages. The huge dominance of
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 can be attributed to the fact that it makes
life
Use synonyms
 easier. Prior to
advent
Suggestion
the advent
 of
technology
Use synonyms
,
work
Use synonyms
 and study used to be hectic and tedious.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays internet gives
accessibility
Suggestion
access
 to numerous resources, which can enhance our
work
Use synonyms
 and study performance. Specifically, with just a click, students and workers, all around the
world
Use synonyms
, can get
different perspective
Suggestion
different perspectives
a different perspective
 for solving particular problem
.
Accept space
.
Also
Linking Words
, areas of
work
Use synonyms
 have moved forward in leaps and bounds due to replacement of old traditional data storage system with computers.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Technology
Use synonyms
have made
Suggestion
has made
had made
 the
world
Use synonyms
- a global village.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with the past, people can be in touch with anyone; from the comfort of their own home.
Also
Linking Words
, we can have
information
Use synonyms
 about any part of the
world
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person from India can have knowledge of U.S foreign policies
with in
internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of
within
 a
second
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we all have instant access to Entertainment industry-
present
Suggestion
presence
 on
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 part of the globe. Various types of songs, shows, games
comes
Suggestion
come
are coming
 to serve in front of our screen these days. On the flip side, certain disadvantages are certainly associated with
influence
Suggestion
the influence
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it leads to
unhealthy
Suggestion
an unhealthy lifestyle
unhealthy lifestyle
unhealthy lifestyles
life
Use synonyms
 style. Rather than doing any kind of physical activity,
for example
Linking Words
, people are engaged on their computer and smart phones in their free time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it pushes
person
Suggestion
people
a person
 towards isolation.
Although
Linking Words
, people are connected to the
world
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 they
seems
Suggestion
seem
 to lose humanly contact slowly. These days
,
Accept space
,
everybody is occupied by
technology
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 no one
have
Suggestion
has
 time to have face-to-face interaction.
Thus
Linking Words
, in
long run
Suggestion
the long run
, it might make person despondent. Clearly, there are some negative aspects of the
technology
Use synonyms
. Having said that, it’s benefits out weigh it’s disadvantages. Of course, it should be used sensibly and people must take regular breaks from
technology
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • IT
  • tech
  • computer
  • phone
  • internet
  • online
  • offline
  • access
  • easy
  • fast
  • save
  • spend
  • work
  • home
  • learn
  • talk
  • read
  • write
  • plan
  • limit
  • balance
  • safe
  • risk
  • data
  • privacy
  • health
  • sleep
  • screen
  • job
  • family
  • friend
  • money
  • choice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: