IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and explain from your own knowledge or experience.

#government #money #railways #roads #answers
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I disagree with the statement that government should spend more money on
railways
Suggestion
the railways
 than roads. Every
year thousands
Accept comma addition
year, thousands
 of people die in
road
Use synonyms
 accidents. The number of people dying due to existing railway condition
are
Suggestion
is
 very less.
Road
Use synonyms
 accidents are caused due to many reasons like, drivers not following traffic rules, over-speeding, etc. But the main reason, and the most avoidable reason is potholes. Potholes cause 80% of all
road
Use synonyms
 accidents in India. Most of the roads in India have potholes. Civilians are so frustrated with the
numbee
the property possessed by a sum or total or indefinite quantity of units or individuals
number
 potholes that a man dressed from Bangalore dresses up in
space suit
Suggestion
space suits
a space suit
 and pretended to be on
moon
Suggestion
the moon
 while walking on a
road
Use synonyms
 filled with potholes.
Beisdes
Suggestion
Besides
 potholes, there are have been cases where the
road
Use synonyms
 collapsed due to weak structure and heavy rains. In India,
roads
Suggestion
the roads
 are made to
last
Linking Words
 just one
spout
catch sight of
spot
 of rain in monsoons. In a country prone to malaria and dengue,
pothles
a pit or hole produced by wear or weathering (especially in a road surface)
potholes
 cause
much
Suggestion
many
 health issues along with safety on
Use synonyms
road
Suggestion
the road
roads
. We
also
Linking Words
 need to invest more on roads than railways to provide better connectivity to remote villages. Well built roads that
last
Linking Words
 decades will be much more economical than
buliding
a structure that has a roof and walls and stands more or less permanently in one place
building
 railway lines
t
in the direction of
to
 remote villages.
This
Linking Words
 will remove the headache of operating and
maintianing
keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"
maintaining
mentioning
 costs of railway stations from the government. Connectivity through roads will provide people living in far off place a better life and expose them to more
oppotunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
. In conclusion, government should spend more money on roads than railways as roads reduce the number of accidents and improve connectivity to remote villages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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