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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph reflects the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 going to cinemas on different
days
Use synonyms
 in a European country. It shows the stats
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
year
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 2003, 2005 and 2007.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, it can be visualized that the maximum chunk of
people
Use synonyms
 visited during the weekends,
while
Linking Words
 Saturday being the busiest day of the week every
year
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. The share of
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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 fluctuated during the first four working
days
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. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are
more busy
Replace the words
busier
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 during the week that’s why the share of
footprint
Add an article
the footprint
a footprint
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 is less on these
days
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. During the weekdays, the highest chunk was seen on Thursday with almost 23%. 2005 was the
year
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 which marked the record highest percentage of
people
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 on Saturday with 45%, closely followed by the
year
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 2007 with 42%. In contrary, the least percentage of the audience was observed on Wednesday in the
year
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 2007 with just under 10%. To summarize, it can be said that most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to visit on weekends, preferably on Saturdays and Sundays as they are mostly free these
days
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, the least traffic is observed on working
days
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.

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, days, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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