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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence
Happiness
 means different things to different people.
Although
 many people believe that every
person
 has their own responsibilities regarding
happiness
, I believe that external factors making us feel happy are more influential. On the one hand, the majority of people believe that satisfaction should generally be considered the responsibility of every
person
. Their views are that
happiness
 depends on a
person
's state of mind and heart.
This
 is mainly because If people have positive attitudes on various aspects, they are more likely to be satisfied during their daily life. Having
this
 is generally due to do regular physical activities affecting positively on people's mental.
For example
, when some people do yoga exercises,
this
 improves their minds helping them in having a good sense of pleasure. In my opinion,
although
this
 might make people feel happy, other factors would be more impactful.
On the other hand
, I believe that there can be found a wide variety of significant external factors in terms of making people feel satisfied.
Firstly
, considering economic condition, many individuals see money as a source of
happiness
 because they enjoy supplying their needs and buying things making them feel pleasure. Take my brother who is a wealthy
person
 as an example; he believes that purchasing new brands of
smartphone
Suggestion
smart phone
 is really enjoyable and satisfactory.
Secondly
, some individuals find
happiness
 in having a harmonious atmosphere with their families and friends.
This
 is mainly because spending time with them would make their
feelings positive
Accept comma addition
feelings, positive
 since they can get advice or help with each other. To conclude,
although
 people have different views about whether or
not every
Accept comma addition
not, every
person
 should take responsibility for their pleasure, I personally believe that external aspects, including financial status as well as having a good relationship with families and friends play a crucial role in making a
person
 happy. #writing_correction25
Submitted by alimohamadi.vahid1369 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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