Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #music #cultures #ages

I believe that people of different countries or societies in the world with different cultures and ages can be categorized in

one

group of

music

preference.

This

essay outlooks the roles of

music

in unification of people

feom

a giver or sender

from

different cultures and ages.

Music

one

of the best

healer

Suggestion

healers

of stress and its management. Most people being distracted from their role in daily life can give

certain level

Suggestion

a certain level

of pleasure with the

music

For example

one

child (from Sikh community) returned from school, at the same time, a man

(

Accept space

(

from US) back from work may listen

same

Suggestion

the same music

music

to relieve their mind. Here

music

preference

also

connect people from different areas.

In addition

music

Suggestion

the music

itself is

one

of the festival

have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)

having

capability

Suggestion

the capability

of festivities. During

festival people

Suggestion

the festival people

compromise their own feeling and brings ecstasy in mind with joyfulness.

Likewise

Accept comma addition

Likewise, music

music

environment help divert the mind to flow into

blissful mood

Suggestion

a blissful mood

of any person.

For example

, during

music festival

Suggestion

the music festival

, people from different cultures and ages are enjoying and celebrating same

music

with their culture costumes and ages at the same time. In the end, I believe

music

one

of a good way of bringing people of different cultures and

ages

Suggestion

age

group together. I think that the way we show the celebration of the

music

can

varies

Suggestion

vary

from people to people from different cultures or ages but

joyness

the emotion of great happiness

joys

given by

music

can feel

same

a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of inadequacy or guilt

shame

Mon Feb 17 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

The rise of social media has affected personal knowledge and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the drawbacks?