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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some parents think children should have mobile phones, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones
Technology advances make a considerable variation to our daily lives, wherein it facilitates most of humans' problems and lives seem to be more convenient. One of the versatile devices, mobile phones, have shifted the way we work significantly, from a small child to an elder.
Therefore
, it is debated that whether parents should provide their offspring with
such
 a smart device or not. In my essay, I will analyse both of the perspectives and demonstrate mine at the end of the writing. Mobile phones enhance our productivity. Especially in education, in which the young have access to the internet, can explore the world around them through a touch screen.
Additionally
, they can participate in online courses of different topics.
Consequently
, children could broaden their knowledge
besides
 school time by using their smart phones.
For example
, many researchers in the University of California suggested that 52% of children who use their mobile phone for education purposes, seem to do better at school than others.
This
 means that,
such
 device can be used incorrectly, which leads to many negative effects.
Although
 mobile phones create better opportunities for studying, it still can be operated for other purposes
such
 as entertainment, which is the biggest concern for most parents when offering them a smart device. Children who play video games on their phone face addiction.
Consequently
, they will do remarkably worse at school compared to those who do not enjoy
this
 form of entertainment.
For instance
, over 55% of children worldwide has to deal with addiction to gaming every day. In my opinion, I regard phones as helpful devices in terms of teaching and studying.
However
, it should only be given to younger users under a strict parental guidance.
Submitted by dtminhhoang2504 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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