IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is more important to invest in further education rather than to gain work experience after finishing university in order to find a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#education #gain #work #university #job
Nowadays, young people fear that they will not be able to find a good job. So, work counsellors advise to invest in
further
 instruction rather than try to gain some experience.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
 point of view. Due to the lack of employees, especially in specific sectors, entrepreneurs prefer to employ younger people and to train them at work.
Consequently
, people looking for a job tend to hand curriculum vitae in bosses' hands as soon as they graduate.
Moreover
, young people can work much more than others because they are less busy: in fact, they usually do not have to look after children or family.
This
 is the main reason why interviewers often ask for the applicant's future plans, in order to understand how much time he could dedicate to the company and contribute to its growth.
On the other hand
, some people could argue that academic preparation is much more important, as it allows
to
Suggestion
for
 best perform required tasks.
However
, even though
this
 view could be technically appropriate for certain types of jobs -
for instance
, some scientific careers-, special training may be organized to teach new features or to train the employees to carry out certain activities.
Furthermore
, people can really improve their profit and their abilities by experiencing and practicing. To sum up, business
traineeships
Suggestion
Traineeships
 should be encouraged, as they allow both to learn new skills, to earn some money and to gain experience that could be spent when looking for other kinds of jobs.
Submitted by lucebis9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: