IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many countries in the world have publicly funded
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
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Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 to help their
people
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 can access good doctors or medical.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
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 of medical
care
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 and medicine may
expensive
Add a missing verb
be expensive
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, especially
in
Change preposition
for
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 serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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, so
this
Linking Words
 organization can support finance to treat their ailments. But some
people
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 want to pay their
money
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 for faster and better treatment. I believe
this
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system
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 was created for every person,
thus
Linking Words
 paying more
money
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 than normal should not
accept
Wrong verb form
be accepted
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. Public-funded
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health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
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system
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 should be a fair
system
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.
However
Linking Words
,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
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this
Linking Words
system
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 often lacks funding and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 have enough
money
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 all the time. Yet, if someone
argue
Change the verb form
argues
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 that
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 willing to pay more
money
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 is not appropriate because it is a cutting in line.
For example
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 have a lot of salary can go to see a doctor
first,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means the poor
people
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, almost
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
number
Correct word choice
same number
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than
Change preposition
as
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 rich
people
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, might be left or
waited
Wrong verb form
wait
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 for many days or long hours. When someone has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a serious illness, they cannot be cured in time. The house or business cannot be built by only
money
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, we want to have laboured. If all of them
sick
Add a missing verb
are sick
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, who will help us
.
Change the punctuation
?
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This
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 is only one of two reasons why using
money
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 faster
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not work in the long term. For
this
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 organization, it should be equal for any class in society. If somebody wants to pay for better treatment they should go to a private hospital. They can treat you better and faster than
public-fund
Add an article
the public-fund
a public-fund
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system
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. It can help
this
Linking Words
system
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 save a lot of
money
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you have cancer, but you have enough cash you can go to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 private clinic to
take
Verb problem
get
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 the best treatment
instead
Linking Words
 wait in
queue
Add an article
a queue
the queue
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 in public
health
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care
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for getting
Change preposition
to get
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 a normal remedy. It can save a lot of payment and time for
this
Linking Words
system
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 and
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
people
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 can see the doctors faster. In conclusion,
public-funded
Correct article usage
the public-funded
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health
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care
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system
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 ought to be an equal
system
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 for all citizens.
Who
Correct pronoun usage
Those who
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 want to receive better or faster should go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 private hospital or clinic.
This
Linking Words
system
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 often
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 have enough funds,
however
Linking Words
, if we have enough
money
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 should contribute your
money
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 can help enormous
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
The essay presents a clear position on the topic but lacks depth in addressing counter-arguments. Including more balanced views and considering opposing perspectives will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports or develops the central argument. Topic sentences would help to clarify the focus of each paragraph, leading the reader through your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow due to grammatical errors and incorrect word choices. Revising these sentences to ensure clear and grammatically accurate expression will improve your overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the argument. This provides a coherent structure and helps readers follow your line of thought.
task response
The topic is addressed, and relevant examples related to salary disparities and healthcare are used. This shows an effort to apply specific instances to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare system
  • Public-funded
  • Private healthcare
  • Two-tier system
  • Equity
  • Efficiency
  • Universal access
  • Resource allocation
  • Quality of care
  • Queue skipping
  • Economic impact
  • Ethical considerations
  • Accessibility
  • Public investment
  • Health outcomes
  • Social inequality
  • Health insurance
  • Privilege
  • Funding
  • Resource distribution
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