In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many countries in the world have publicly funded
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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to help their
people
can access good doctors or medical.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
show examples
of medical
care
and medicine may
expensive
Add a missing verb
be expensive
show examples
, especially
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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, so
this
organization can support finance to treat their ailments. But some
people
want to pay their
money
for faster and better treatment. I believe
this
system
was created for every person,
thus
paying more
money
than normal should not
accept
Wrong verb form
be accepted
show examples
. Public-funded
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
system
should be a fair
system
.
However
,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
this
system
often lacks funding and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
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have enough
money
all the time. Yet, if someone
argue
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argues
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that
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
willing to pay more
money
is not appropriate because it is a cutting in line.
For example
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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have a lot of salary can go to see a doctor
first,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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means the poor
people
, almost
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
number
Correct word choice
same number
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than
Change preposition
as
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rich
people
, might be left or
waited
Wrong verb form
wait
show examples
for many days or long hours. When someone has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a serious illness, they cannot be cured in time. The house or business cannot be built by only
money
, we want to have laboured. If all of them
sick
Add a missing verb
are sick
show examples
, who will help us
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
This
is only one of two reasons why using
money
faster
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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not work in the long term. For
this
organization, it should be equal for any class in society. If somebody wants to pay for better treatment they should go to a private hospital. They can treat you better and faster than
public-fund
Add an article
the public-fund
a public-fund
show examples
system
. It can help
this
system
save a lot of
money
.
For instance
, if you have cancer, but you have enough cash you can go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
private clinic to
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
the best treatment
instead
wait in
queue
Add an article
a queue
the queue
show examples
in public
health
care
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
a normal remedy. It can save a lot of payment and time for
this
system
and
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
can see the doctors faster. In conclusion,
public-funded
Correct article usage
the public-funded
show examples
health
care
system
ought to be an equal
system
for all citizens.
Who
Correct pronoun usage
Those who
show examples
want to receive better or faster should go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
private hospital or clinic.
This
system
often
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
have enough funds,
however
, if we have enough
money
should contribute your
money
because
this
can help enormous
people
.
Submitted by tongmek158 on

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task response
The essay presents a clear position on the topic but lacks depth in addressing counter-arguments. Including more balanced views and considering opposing perspectives will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports or develops the central argument. Topic sentences would help to clarify the focus of each paragraph, leading the reader through your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow due to grammatical errors and incorrect word choices. Revising these sentences to ensure clear and grammatically accurate expression will improve your overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the argument. This provides a coherent structure and helps readers follow your line of thought.
task response
The topic is addressed, and relevant examples related to salary disparities and healthcare are used. This shows an effort to apply specific instances to support your main points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare system
  • Public-funded
  • Private healthcare
  • Two-tier system
  • Equity
  • Efficiency
  • Universal access
  • Resource allocation
  • Quality of care
  • Queue skipping
  • Economic impact
  • Ethical considerations
  • Accessibility
  • Public investment
  • Health outcomes
  • Social inequality
  • Health insurance
  • Privilege
  • Funding
  • Resource distribution
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