IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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From the ancient time to the present modern world era, prison sentences have always been a considerably effective penalty for those who committed
crime
Use synonyms
.
However
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, people believe that certain criminals should be permitted to work hard with the social activities as a way to pay back for their crimes. In my opinion, the idea of making criminals do voluntary work as a punishment for their guilt will have a significant impact on improving the manner of the prisoners with the misdemeanours. With
this
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 type of
crime
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, people might not have the tendency to threaten social security. It has been pointed out that the prominent cause for misdemeanours is the lack of education.
Therefore
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, paying attention to educating these people to help them realize the consequences of their illegal actions will reduce the
crime
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 rate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by bearing hands to improve social lives, it is easier for prisoners to gain social endorsement as well as to stay positive which will keep them away from getting stuck with illegal lives.
On the other hand
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, some prisoners who seem not to behave really badly may become someone with w
orse
Suggestion
bad
b
ehavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
after the time of being condemned to jail. Prisons are built to serve the 2 main purposes which are capturing the criminals to ensure the safety for the citizen and self-educating them. Keeping too many criminals at the same place which accidentally creates an environment in which prisoners with misdemeanours may be negatively affected by prisoners who committed serious crimes. In conclusion, since the
crime
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 status varies in w
ide range,
Suggestion
a wide range
 it’s necessary to have the specific penalty for each kind of
crime
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 which will help to improve the c
riminals’
Suggestion
criminal
b
ehavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
more efficiently.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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