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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest.
#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest
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The pie chart and bar chart
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 information about the
perportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people arrested in the
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ending 1994 and
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
couses
Correct your spelling
cases
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
arrest
Use synonyms
 respectively. The data
calibrated
Add a missing verb
was calibrated
show examples
 in percentage. It is crystal clear that the individuals who are
catch
Change the form of the verb
caught
show examples
 in
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ending 1994.
Firstly
Linking Words
, 32
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
imprisonment
Replace the word
imprisoned
show examples
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 68percent
Use synonyms
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not arrested.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in ending of
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of female's
show examples
female's
Change noun form
females
show examples
improvement
Replace the word
improved
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, 91
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
 arrested. Shifting attention to the rest information, there are various reasons for
Correct article usage
the recently
show examples
recently
Change the adverb
recent
show examples
Use synonyms
arrest
Correct subject-verb agreement
arrests
show examples
. Primarily, nearly 27
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
Use synonyms
arrest
Add a missing verb
are arrest
show examples
 for
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 approximately 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 catch for
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving. Moving
further
Linking Words
, almost 31
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
 imprison for public drinking which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 almost 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less than
women
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, about 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
arrest
Use synonyms
 for breach of order which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less than
males
Use synonyms
. Nearly,
males
Use synonyms
 percentage are about 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 maximum than
women
Use synonyms
 for
thift
Correct your spelling
theft
arrest
Use synonyms
. Females and
males
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
arrest
Add a missing verb
were arrest
show examples
 for other reasons nearly 18
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, about 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
 and nearly 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
females
Change preposition
of females
show examples
Use synonyms
arrest
Add a missing verb
were arrest
show examples
 for no answer.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the males
show examples
males
Change noun form
males'
male's
show examples
 percentage are maximum than
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
show examples
 In
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 and recent
Use synonyms
arrest
Fix the agreement mistake
arrests
show examples
.
Submitted by kuldeepgoraya1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words five, years, arrest, percent, males, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • arrests
  • bar chart
  • trends
  • age group
  • contrast
  • significance
  • factors
  • societal implications
  • crime
  • economic
  • social factors
  • legal factors
  • preventive measures
  • interventions
  • data analysis
  • demographics
  • reasons for arrest
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