IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people’s #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health is one of the most pivotal aspect of the human life. Recently, it has been observed that the average standard of person's health is declining at a rapid rate across the globe and the situation
further
Linking Words
 worsens in the coming years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I advocate my agreement with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in today's life where almost everyone wants to achieve everything in a shorter span of time, people have become work alcoholic and giving less importance to their body and more to work and in the future the situation even become worse.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my relatives who is just 26 years old and working with a multinational firm recently develop a serious cervical pain due to the continuous working over a period of time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the recent era, it has been observed that more and more people, especially youngsters consumes Junk Food which is high in fat and preservatives and less in vitamins and nutrients on the daily basis,
as a result
Linking Words
 of which, they are subjected to diseases like Cardio Vascular problems, high cholesterol, Blood Pressure and Diabetes.To illustrate,
last
Linking Words
 month one of my friend's brother died because of Heart Attack, because of the high cholesterol level due to his habit of eating junk food on the daily basis. To conclude, people's health is already deteriorating and it's become more critical in the future, so, individuals should give more importance to health and should avoid taking fast food and work for longer duration to live a happy and healthy life.
Submitted by sharmanikhil05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: