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Band 4.5

Stress – related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#stress #illnesses
In the current epoch, most of the people are suffering from ailments interlinked to
stress
 behind which there are numerous causative factors,
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
 can be reduced with the assistance of some preventive measures.
Firstly
, can you believe to live a
stress
 free
life
 in
this
 competitive and fast paced era?
Well it
Accept comma addition
Well, it
 is quite difficult to say yes. These days, every individual, no matter what their age is, having
stress
 in their
life
. Children have tension to achieve excellent academic grades to be able to have
white collar job
Suggestion
a white collar job
white collar jobs
 in future. Working population has
stress
Suggestion
the stress
a stress
stresses
 of their
work
, they want to get
promotion
Suggestion
a promotion
 in their job to earn huge amount of money due to which they sometimes have to
work
 day and night. As a consequence of
work
 load and sleepless nights, they become stressed. When people are in their old age, they start worrying about settling the
life
 of their children.
Also
, when they become victims of any disease, they get worried
about becoming it
Suggestion
about it becoming
 worse rather than treating it positively. It has now become a trend to take tension even on very small happenings of day to day
life
. If individuals are not able to make balance between professional and personal
life
, they are more likely to
overthink
Suggestion
over think
 about making up a balance which
further
 makes them depressed.
Also
, if they do not get
desired result
Suggestion
the desired result
desired results
 in any task,
then
instead
 of working
more hard
Suggestion
harder
, they trap themselves in stressful situations. Now, what can be done to eradicate
this
 problem from society? Well, the solution of
this
 problem is in the hands of individuals themselves. There is need of taking everything in
positive way
Suggestion
a positive way
 and to deal with every difficult situation with
positive mindset
Suggestion
a positive mindset
. People have to understand that
stress
 is not a solution to any problematic situations, in fact it give birth to more mental troubles from which it is very hard to get rid
off
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
. To teach individuals the same scenario, help of
health panel
Suggestion
a health panel
 could be asked.
Public
Suggestion
The public
 can be made aware about
the worse
Suggestion
the bad
 effect of having
stress
 on minds all the time.
In addition
 to
this
, people should try to involve themselves in happy moments and they should try to stay away from the thoughts causing streets. To do so, they can spend some time their family members by taking some days off from their
work
 or by organising trips with them which will assist them to change their mood and feel happy. They can
also
 take help of light exercises as well as meditation to overcome
stress
. To recapitulate, I would like to say that
stress
 on a person can never assist them to come out of problems, but it will worsen the situation.
Therefore
, tensed people should try to keep them happy by spending some time on their hobbies or interests, because being happy and generation of gleeful moments is directly proportional to minimise their level of
stress
 or depression.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • job demands
  • work-related stress
  • societal pressure
  • achieve success
  • erosion
  • work-life balance
  • exposure
  • negative news
  • social media comparisons
  • chronic stress
  • mental health support
  • stigma
  • flexible work hours
  • stress management techniques
  • mindfulness
  • access to mental health services
  • community support systems
  • emotional support
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