When ask to choose between a life without work and working most of time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement
It is a common belief that many individuals desire to unwind but do not think about work. It is obvious that
this
trend would introduce the disadvantages and explain why I disagree with the opinion in Linking Words
this
essay
On the one hand, Linking Words
it is clear that
not working brings about several drawbacks. First of all, the proportion of unemployment witnessed a significant upward trend Linking Words
that is
because some people living without working may lose their ambition in order to become more wealthy. Linking Words
In other words
, a low living standard is established in their mind which has a negative effect on their life. Another reason is that it would make individuals lazy and ignorant of their business, especially because they are likely to face financial problems difficultly Linking Words
such
as the expenditure on accommodation or food. Linking Words
Consequently
, there are more and more homeless appear
On top of that, it is evident that an economic downturn is seen in a lot of countries with high rates of unemployment. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the citizens have to deal with various types of crime. It means that residents tend to be anxious about communicating with others in person to ensure that avoiding plenty of dangerous situations. Linking Words
As a result
, people have a tendency to lose their link with ones, so society is likely to be simplicial
Linking Words
To sum up
, I believe that people ought to be hard-working and studious in their occupations in order to generate a fabulous society or foster economic growth to help a nation prone to develop comprehensivelyLinking Words
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task achievement
Try to develop your main ideas more fully. Introduce more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Using clear topic sentences and transitions can help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
You've managed to touch on important points about the implications of not working, including economic downturn and crime, which adds depth to your argument.