It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extend you agree or disagree?

Although
some
people
believe that
governments
have to give all the attention to their citizens only, I am strongly convinced that supporting
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
countries
should
also
be one of the government’s plans. Only if the
governments
,
along with
the nongovernmental organizations do their best to be a backbone for other boundary land, will we be able to make the best use of what other
countries
could provide us with. On the one hand, I believe that it is vital to help our
neighbors
Change noun form
neighbor's
neighbors'
show examples
citizens. In most communities there are
people
who
suffering
Change the form of the verb
suffer
show examples
from poverty, starvation and
being homeless
Wrong verb form
homelessness
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I think that individuals can union with the
governments
to diminish the number of suffering
people
.
For example
, in England, volunteers donate money, clothes and even food
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it seems a small help but certainly it makes a positive difference for someone living without a roof over their head.
On the other hand
, I would argue that
governments
have a commitment to help other
countries
.
For instance
, in Africa,
everyday
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
children are suffering from epidemic diseases, neighbor
countries
can provide them by air with vaccines which is an effortless help but may save
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of lives. In conclusion, perhaps we cannot help all
people
over the world but I believe that we should try to give a hand to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others as much as we can.
Submitted by eltohamy.mariam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: