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Band 6.5

Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #museums #town #halls #ones
Preservation of heritage is an essential component of a nation’s history. In
this
 regard, it is argued that funds should be consumed on constructing new structures
instead
 of refurbishing the current ones. I agree with
this
 statement as, the new buildings can house the ancient remaining and periodic maintenance will not be needed. With regards to accommodation of ancient remaining, building of new museums is the best option. To elaborate it
further
, museums are popular all over the world as a source of preservation of a nation's history and civilization.
Furthermore
, these museums will be a source of attraction not only for the local folks but can
also
 attract foreigner tourists.
Moreover
, the influx of tourists from abroad will
further
 add to the economy of the country and
thus
 the country would become popular in the region.
This
 shows that if new public buildings are built, it would attract more visitors. With regards to the periodic maintenance, the new construction would be a one time investment for building of sustainable structures. To explain it
further
, since the new buildings would be built using the modern technology and durable material, so any extra expenditure of budget for upkeep would not be needed.
Moreover
, uninterrupted services will be provided by the museums, as there would not by any closure or breaks for maintenance purposes.
As a result
, more and more visitors will be attracted towards it without any interruption.
For instance
, the number of visitors in the newly opened museum in Peshawar is almost double as compared to that of the old one. In conclusion, it is agreed that funds should be allocated for the manufacture of new public buildings
instead
 of restoring the old ones, as
this
 the new building will preserve the remaining of a nation's heritage well and would be a one time investment.
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 is recommended that
such
 budget should be specified new construction only.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • symbolizes
  • evolving
  • aspirations
  • incorporate
  • accessibility
  • catalyst
  • economic development
  • heritage
  • conserves
  • cultural
  • integrity
  • operational inefficiencies
  • sustainably
  • repurpose
  • throwaway culture
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • context-specific
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