IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Only government action can solve housing shortages in big cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #action #shortages #cities
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Housing shortage has become a serious urban social issue in many parts of the world. It has been argued that only when the
government
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 has taken
actions
Suggestion
action
, can demand for homes be fulfilled. Yet to the best of my knowledge, the
government
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 alone
can not
can not
cannot
 cope well with
housing shortage
Suggestion
the housing shortage
housing shortages
. One of the main objections to
government
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 intervention is that it would hamper the private sector and simultaneously pose a huge burden upon the state. In countries where the
government
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 is on a tight budget and the homeless population is large, the involvement of private property developers is required and recommended. Not only does it release the
government
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 from the burden of funding large-sized construction
programmes but
Accept comma addition
programmes, but
 it
also
Linking Words
 fosters the housing industry. Given its role in attracting public consumption and accelerating economic development, the housing industry should be at the mercy of the
market
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, rather than the
government
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. Another drawback of state control over the housing
market
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 is that it could result in the stagnancy of construction quality, functionality, facilities and other aspects of housing. Apartment blocks or other residential constructions would be built in a similar pattern and the cityscape would be monotonous. Excessive uniformity, especially in the size and number of rooms, will fail to meet
comprehensive requirements
Suggestion
the comprehensive requirements
 raised by citizens on properties. Despite these objections,
government
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 intervention is essential in some segments of the
market
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 and can render more resistance to citizens. Single parents, the people with disabilities and other disadvantaged people are among those who are not ready to afford commercial housing. The
government
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 can provide them either
with housing allowance
Suggestion
with a housing allowance
 to purchase their private properties or directly with economical houses. As indicated above, in addressing homelessness and inadequate housing, the joint effort of both
government
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 and private sector is required. While
government
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 intervention would impede the property
market
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 and negatively influence the supply and demand relationship,
government
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 assistance is essential for low-income families and vulnerable individuals in need of housing.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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