IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #government #money #train #lines #transport
People have different views about whether
government
Suggestion
the government
 should spend currency on building new railways or
imroving
getting higher or more vigorous
improving
 present public transportation.While I can understand why
government
Suggestion
the government
 should spend money on railways
,
Accept space
,
I believe that
imroving
getting higher or more vigorous
improving
 public transportation should be better. On the one hand
,
Accept space
,
creating new lines of railway can be
good idea
Suggestion
a good idea
 for all individuals.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
by creating new lines people get lots of possibilities.
For example
,
Accept space
,
if there are many railway lines people can visit wherever they want
,
Accept space
,
moreover
,
Accept space
,
it is a primary kind of transport which can be caused development of tourism and
also
 export.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
by
this
 way students living
condition
Suggestion
conditions
 would be better who live far from their studies.
Finally
,
Accept space
,
many lines of railway can be desirable for a majority of
peope
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
,
Accept space
,
clearly to provide unemployed people with work.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
it is more necessary to supply
community
Suggestion
communities
a community
the community
 with a high quality public transportation that makes them
convenience
Suggestion
convenient
,
Accept space
,
because almost every day humans are used utilizing from
this
 service for going to their destinations
,
Accept space
,
because it is
quickly
Suggestion
quicker
quick
 to move by
such
 kind of transport.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
government
 should spend much more
many
the most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender
money
on
Suggestion
in
this
 way that I would argue. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
my view is that
government
 should spend money on public transport that benefit all members of society,
instead
 of on services do not improve our everyday lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: