IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

#idea #career #fashion #mil #careers #money #education #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt, that the basic idea of having a single career
is become
Suggestion
has become
becomes
 an old fashioned
one
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, more and more people want to have not at least
one
Use synonyms
 profession and different ways of earning money. They claim that education is the only thing that will
continues
Suggestion
continue
 throughout our lives. It is generally agreed today, that people want to have more than
one
Use synonyms
 specialization, while at the past
this
Linking Words
 modern trend was unacceptable.
One
Use synonyms
 argument in support of having several careers consists in the education and knowledge. In
modern world
Suggestion
the modern world
, most schools and universities starting to decline lessons that are not
stand
Suggestion
standing
 up for the human future profession.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a man
want
Suggestion
wants
 to be a doctor,
than
subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)
then
 it means that he need to know biology, chemistry, science and
etc
studies intended to provide general knowledge and intellectual skills (rather than occupational or professional skills)
arts
, while subjects like history, math, and others will be
not helpful and useful
Suggestion
helpful and not useful
 for him at all. I
dont
do not
don't
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, that schools should remove unnecessary subjects because they will help us
in
Suggestion
with
 basic things.
For example
Linking Words
, to count money, to know the time and so on. As for,
history we
Accept comma addition
history, we
 need to know
what
Suggestion
what's
 what in the past, that the price for
leaving
the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities
living
 in a piece is very high. It is
well-known fact
Suggestion
a well-known fact
, that having a several careers very hard.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, you need to have a lot of passion, force, power and endurance. In conclusion, to sum up, I think that having more than
one
Use synonyms
 work is a good idea,
also
Linking Words
 it is very well paid direction of living standards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will be particularly better
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
 each of the job will deliver you only happiness.
Submitted by yagudaeva.l.z on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: