IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Art
Use synonyms
 is essential to refresh people`s mind, so they can
work
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 more efficiently.
Government
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 spending on
art
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 is worthwhile rather than a wastage. I support
government
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 spending on the arts because it enhances creativity,
work
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 efficiency and
heritage
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 of any
country
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. If we exam our daily routine, we will come to know that the
modern fast
Accept comma addition
modern, fast
 life makes our lives boring and dull.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 brings
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
 and refreshment in our
lives we
Accept comma addition
lives, we
 feel joyful and happy to utilize
art
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 facilities in our nearby. There are many countries like Australia, Canada, United Kingdom and United State which are spending money on museums and old building of the historical cities because it motivates the people to
work
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 hard like their ancestors. Through
this
Linking Words
 channel,
government
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 can enhance the productivity and output of the workers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
art
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 of any
country
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 is
heritage
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 of that
country
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.
Government
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 has to spend on
Use synonyms
country`s
Suggestion
the country`s heritage
heritage
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 because every
country
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 is recognized through his culture and
art
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. People cannot afford big projects like
art
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 galleries and museums, if
government
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build
Suggestion
builds
 these
art
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 galleries and
museums
Accept comma addition
museums, then
then
Linking Words
 it can charge tickets to their visitors to maintain it. Spending on
art
Use synonyms
 by the
government
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 is not a useless effort, whereas it increases productivity of people to produce more output.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, any
country
Use synonyms
 is recognized through its
Use synonyms
art
photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication
artwork
work
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, and it has huge cost which cannot afford by the people, so
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government
Suggestion
the government
 should spend on the
art
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 to preserve its
heritage
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 and to increase productivity of people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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