IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that international events
such
Linking Words
 as the Olympic Games play a vital role in maintaining world peace and to
show
Use synonyms
 nationalism in a proper
way
Use synonyms
. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but some fights among the supporters have been reported in past venues. On the one hand, it is true that events
such
Linking Words
 as the World Football Cup or the Commonwealth Games can be used as a tool to maintain the world peace and to
show
Use synonyms
 patriotism in a secure
way
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that during international tournaments, athletes from various nations are competing against each other in a supportive
way
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 their countries of origin might be at war or conflict, they shake hands and greet each other. And during these moments, the sports people can
show
Use synonyms
 their nationalism by giving their best effort in the games, since they are the representative of their own countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the tournaments positively affect world peace, sometimes the athletes and the supporters get carried away with their emotions. In certain cases, several athletes had fought against each other because they could not manage their temperament, and the situation had triggered the supporters to fight against each other as well.
As a result
Linking Words
, it caused some tensions between countries as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many experts have suggested that athletes should be given a proper explanation about controlling their emotions during the games because it could give negative effects to the supporters and the relationship among nations. In conclusion, it is undeniable that international sport & games
such
Linking Words
 as the European Football Cup or SEA Games are an effective tool in easing the tensions among nations, and to
show
Use synonyms
 the patriotism in the right
way
Use synonyms
. I personally agree with the statement, but I think it is
also
Linking Words
 important for the athletes to be trained about controlling their emotions.
Submitted by ammarmahkhedr2019 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: