IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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In the contemporary era, some rural dwellers have moved to urban cities because they are willing to improve their lifestyle. I am of the belief that it is a positive development because these villages lack the existence of companies and facilities. In the beginning, metropolitan cities have numerous schools and corporations for their residents. When young graduates change their accommodation to countries, they can find vocations easily, and
as a result
Linking Words
, they make their livelihood effectively. A prime example is that some Egyptian employees have moved from their countryside to Cairo to search for suitable jobs with lucrative salaries.
Thus
Linking Words
, what can be said is that moving to urban cities will ensure having a luxurious life and gaining massive wealth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some rural areas suffer from having an insufficient number of clinics or hospitals.
In other words
Linking Words
, if elderly people have been diagnosed with a serious disease, they will be obligated to travel to the nearest healthcare centres.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a study conducted by Time magazine revealed that searching for qualified hospitals is the main cause of farmers' departure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the existence of amenities has attracted other locals from other districts. In conclusion, by highlighting the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that moving to suburbs has benevolent effects on people. I think that having jobs and healthcare foundations are the essential needs of any human being.

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language complexity
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas directly support your main argument to maintain focused task response.
coherence cohesion
Use clear transitions between ideas for improved flow and coherence.
introduction conclusion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support points, such as the reference to Egyptian employees moving to Cairo.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical structure with clear main points in each paragraph.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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