The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The highways are becoming more dangerous.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is commonly considered that enforcing a harsher punishment for individuals

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

break

traffic

Use synonyms

rules is the sole means of making our highways safer. In my opinion, I completely support

this

Linking Words

notion because doing

this

Linking Words

would distract and get these miscreants off the

roads

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

discouraging

Replace the word

discouragement

show examples

traffic

Use synonyms

offenders is my first reason to be considered on why

this

Linking Words

statement is supported. To put simply, the greater the repercussion for an action, the more people avoid doing that act.

For example

Linking Words

, research has shown that the fear of capital punishment has discouraged prospective murderers.

Similarly

Linking Words

, if

road

Use synonyms

punishments are harsher,

then

Linking Words

traffic

Use synonyms

rules would be less broken. Evidently, it can be seen that reprimanding more people for committing

lesser

Correct word choice

fewer

show examples

road

Use synonyms

offences has a discouraging effect. Not only

this

Linking Words

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

having a harsher penalty can get these rule breakers off the highway

thereby

Punctuation problem

, thereby

show examples

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

road

Use synonyms

transport safer. To elaborate, creating a rule where a driver's license or a vehicle would be seized for

break

Replace the word

breaking

show examples

minute

traffic

Use synonyms

laws would ensure that

road

Use synonyms

law breakers would no longer be on our

roads

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, criminals are being jailed for their crimes.

Thus

Linking Words

, more and more criminals are removed from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society each day. So if

this

Linking Words

penalty is implemented for driving,

then

Linking Words

they would be a thing of the past.

As a result

Linking Words

, our

roads

Use synonyms

become safer. In all, it is apparent that stricter penalties can remove criminals from our

roads

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, the effects of increasing the severity of punishments for

traffic

Use synonyms

law breakers cannot be

overemphasized

Change the spelling

overemphasised

show examples

. As

such

Linking Words

, by discouraging

would be

Use the right word

would-be

show examples

offenders and kicking out current ones, our

roads

Use synonyms

are made less dangerous. Unless stronger penalties are enforced, our

roads

Use synonyms

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

remain unsafe

efemax4u

Feb 20, 2020

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weakness

Your view is clear, but you need strong facts from road data instead of ideas about crime.

tip

Add a short counter view and then give your view again.

tip

Make each paragraph focus on one main idea with a clear topic sentence and a short end note.

strength

You show your view in a straight way.

strength

There are some linking words to guide the reader.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
infractions
harsher penalties
over-policing
driver education
automated traffic enforcement
holistic approach
disproportionately
legal representation
substance abuse
awareness campaigns
road infrastructure
legal measures
traffic regulations

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The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, schools have started teaching students about criminal laws and the consequences of breaking them. Is this a positive or negative development?